mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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