this boner is exhausting
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
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Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
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She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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