Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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