are you so shy because you have an std?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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