Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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