Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize