oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
