How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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