he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
