The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize