idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
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Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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