This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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