I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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