Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
