K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
