hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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