im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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