I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize