1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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