Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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