Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
