You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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