You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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