got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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