either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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