Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
