I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
