I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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