I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
