what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
