Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize