it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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