So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
