I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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