if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
two words...techno handjob
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
