don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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