Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize