Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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