My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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