Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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