you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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