batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
