She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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