im drinking this country out of the recession.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
