there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
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she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
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So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.