Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  so you punched his junk, right?

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  (602): So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex. (480): so you punched his junk, right? http://tfl.nu/9kpg
  Replies (16) Good night (887) Bad night (4151)
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  (631): View more from New York

  My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.

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  (631): My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list. http://tfl.nu/ispc
  Replies (23) Good night (851) Bad night (2433)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  and she was petting her beer can

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  (727): and she was petting her beer can http://tfl.nu/fa24
  Replies (8) Good night (4362) Bad night (916)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh. He liked you.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."

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  (970): Oh. He liked you. (970): Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado." http://tfl.nu/je5x
  Replies (22) Good night (1280) Bad night (3420)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on

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  (970): And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on http://tfl.nu/lu1l
  Replies (18) Good night (7658) Bad night (1364)
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  (619): View more from California

  You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.

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  (619): You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there. http://tfl.nu/abjc
  Replies (18) Good night (5352) Bad night (1153)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.

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  (970): Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today. http://tfl.nu/sid7
  Replies (12) Good night (7115) Bad night (1430)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

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  (908): Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas. http://tfl.nu/cnc6
  Replies (13) Good night (3359) Bad night (717)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN

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  (301): Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN http://tfl.nu/2m0y
  Replies (17) Good night (2059) Bad night (777)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.

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  (412): i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule. http://tfl.nu/st8v
  Replies (6) Good night (1428) Bad night (800)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.

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  (608): Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship. http://tfl.nu/pyi6
  Replies (6) Good night (1499) Bad night (598)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.

  (1-517): View more from Michigan

  fuck our hall.

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  (517): the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story. (1-517): fuck our hall. http://tfl.nu/9mns
  Replies (7) Good night (643) Bad night (1651)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.

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  (512): I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low. http://tfl.nu/zwn3
  Replies (4) Good night (1207) Bad night (658)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

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  (781): Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf http://tfl.nu/hqdc
  Replies (2) Good night (941) Bad night (317)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED

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  (615): I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies. (931): BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED http://tfl.nu/1csz
  Replies (2) Good night (781) Bad night (227)

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