Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
