Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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