Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!

  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.

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  (206): I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night! (253): Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out. http://tfl.nu/4dtb
  Replies (68) Good night (1285) Bad night (3321)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at

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  (651): I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at http://tfl.nu/8c2c
  Replies (4) Good night (859) Bad night (1284)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.

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  (740): worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try. http://tfl.nu/d3im
  Replies (38) Good night (602) Bad night (4311)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.

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  (914): I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room. http://tfl.nu/ia7u
  Replies (8) Good night (874) Bad night (3602)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.

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  (631): I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week. http://tfl.nu/88zi
  Replies (14) Good night (756) Bad night (2929)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  just looked at his mug shot... not really my type

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  (208): just looked at his mug shot... not really my type http://tfl.nu/kmub
  Replies (5) Good night (886) Bad night (4189)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.

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  (613): Will you be topless? That will affect my answer. http://tfl.nu/lf7u
  Replies (19) Good night (6238) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off

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  (603): she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off http://tfl.nu/ws61
  Replies (7) Good night (5177) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.

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  (440): They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME. http://tfl.nu/kpqr
  Replies (5) Good night (1500) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?

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  (302): How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel? http://tfl.nu/4qia
  Replies (11) Good night (659) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....

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  (303): The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING.... http://tfl.nu/av21
  Replies (7) Good night (1986) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Olive Garden will never be the same.

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  (803): She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH" (864): Olive Garden will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/o2p7
  Replies (10) Good night (1898) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.

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  (570): She needs more friends. Or a second therapist. http://tfl.nu/00pk
  Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended

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  (414): Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended http://tfl.nu/wygn
  Replies (0) Good night (883) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I am one hundred percent down for that

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  (773): I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight (708): I am one hundred percent down for that http://tfl.nu/mtzh
  Replies (3) Good night (477) Bad night (258)

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