You're so nebulous sometimes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud