take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
