Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
