I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
