I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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