Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
