And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
