Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
