I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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