so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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