i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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