I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
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Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
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You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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