I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
