I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Can I color on your dick again?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
