wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
