why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
youre lurking in front of me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
