a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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