Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
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I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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