so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's blow job season.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Randomize
