nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
