if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
