the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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